overthinking

20.08.2014

my head is
swimming with
fear and
the
constant
notion that
i can’t
trust my
emotions.

‘how did i get here?’
floats by
in the otherwise
cool calm of
a late summer morning.

‘where am i going?’
drifts gently by
in the night
with as many
thoughts and questions
as there are stars.

in these moments,
even the right answer
doesn’t seem to matter.

it’s just the thinking–
–the overthinking.

a process i can’t
live without.

but in moments of clarity,
moments when i’m sure,
i feel a lightness,
a cartoon-cotton-candy,
soft-but-never-sticky,
bubble gum pink
sense of what i can
only assume is
happiness.

and after each day,
in reflection,
i understand that
my search for
that feeling
never attains it,
only the letting
go of the search.

i gave myself
away today.

-fourmillionyears/c.o.

Aug 21 17:41 with 1 note
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